Are you a blade whisperer?

I have asked numerous people how to check the blades on my sons' skates. Whenever I see someone who seems to know what they are doing -- blade whisperers I call them - I ask for a little tutorial and observe what they do really carefully. Really. This is what I have learned:

First you turn the boot over and stretch out your arm full length to look at the blade. (I'm not sure if this is because the parents need reading glasses or if it is actually helpful to be really far away from the blade when looking at it.) Then you squint and look at the blade very closely. Then you turn your head slightly to the side while you pass you finger down the length of the blade. While you do this you adopt an expression like you are trying to crack a safe, I think maybe because you are trying to hear the blade speak to you. ("I need to be sharpened! I need to be sharpened!") When you follow these steps you are supposed to be able to discern if the blades are sharp or not - if the guy in the pro-shop did a good job or not. Well, I've been a hockey Mom for 5 years and while I try to check those edges (because of course, this is something I am expected to do), the truth is, I'm just a pretender - a fraud. They always feel the same to me!

And while we are talking about blades, why are there so many people responsible for sharpening blades who apparantly are unable to do a good job. Everywhere you go you are told, "Ask for Dan or Bill or Bob and don't let any of the other idiots touch your kids skates." The problem is no one wears a name tag and I can never remember who I'm supposed to be asking for anyway. What are you supposed to do ask "Are you Bob?" and when the guy says no, tell him he can't do your skates because you heard he was an idiot? Maybe I'm not cut out for this.