Tryouts, Hockey Tweeps and Mother's Day Oh My

Tier 2 tryouts are underway here in New Jersey. Stressful week! If you have a kid trying out, I encourage you to read my previous post about what coaches are looking for when they are picking teams. I also have an added piece of advice for the older kids from one-time youth hockey coach, now communications director for the NHL, Mike Dilorenzo (aka @umassdilo on Twitter) He says "Hit anything. The other guys, players on your own team, hit the coach if you have to. Hit anything you can find!" Probably very good advice.

Mike shared this advice last Wednesday at the 2nd Round NHL Tweetup in NYC. For those of you still not on Twitter, an NHLtweetup is a meeting in the real world where hockey fans (of all teams by the way) get together to watch hockey, talk hockey and have a couple of beers. We had a lot of fun especially because the locale, my friend Paul's bar Hurleys Saloon http://www.hurleysnyc.com/), was a great spot to meet up. We also were lucky enough to have Glenn Anderson, 6x Stanley Cup winner, join us and hang out. He talked to everyone and answered questions during the 2nd intermission of the Penguins game. Here is a link to the video http://www.hockeybarn.com/videos/view.htm?video=175&sort=date_down. See what he says when asked how he feels about ending his career with 498 goals. Ouch! While you're there, you can check out the rest of http://www.hockeybarn.com/, a terrific new site created by Josh Schacter to build an online community of hockey fans, players, parents, coaches etc. Josh organized this latest Tweetup and, we are looking forward to his next event!

If you want to meet some great hockey fans and have a lot of fun for the remainder of the playoffs, get on Twitter. Start with me www.twitter.com/NJHockeyMom and then you'll find lots of great hockey folks from all over in my list of followers.

Also Mike from the NHL also shared that the NHL.com store is offering a discount to all Hockey Tweeps (hockey fans on Twitter). "If you shop at Shop.NHL.com, take 20% off with the code TWEET (case sensitive) through the end of playoffs." Even if you are not on Twitter go check it out. They have overpriced Retro teeshirts that my kids haven't taken off since I bought them. They are super soft/comfy. I'm wearing Zach's Minnesota Wild shirt in the picture above!

My big excitement for the week was that my oldest son, Ian, reffed his first Hockey Games. What a great experience! He's only 12, but he went to an 8 hour seminar, took a test on line, talked to the Coaches at the Ice House to get on the schedule and went out and reffed three games on Sunday. (OK it did suck a little that I had to get up at 6 am on Mother's Day.) I was really proud of him. The best part though, was that he was really proud of himself. He said the only time he got confused was when one of the coaches started screaming about icing, and he almost messed up the call. So remember that when you are yelling at the refs, you may cause them to make a mistake that could hurt your team!

Have to also acknowledge my little guy Zach who worked hard to make Mother's Day special. He made me a card, bought me candles and flowers, and then he scored a hat trick - just for me he said. Love you Zach!

What Are Coaches Looking for at Tryouts

Next week tryouts begin here in Northern New Jersey for Mite-Bantam travel programs. My oldest is moving up to Bantam this year and, since the Winter season ended, he’s been working out, taking skating lessons, and of course playing Spring Hockey.

As I dread the stress of tryouts, I have to admit that I’m amazed that the coaches can make any decisions at all with so many kids on the ice together. To my relatively untrained eye, it seems like there are always a few kids who are clearly better than all the others. Then there are the few kids who are clearly struggling and can’t keep up with everyone else. Then there are the great unwashed masses in the middle – most of the kids including my son. I wondered what advice an experienced coach would give to these kids about how to put their best foot forward at a tryout. The coaches I spoke with had some interesting advice and I wanted to share it with all of you!

Coach Kyle Long from the North Jersey Avalanche program (http://www.icehousenj.com/) realizes how hard it is to spot one kid in the crowd and he advises that you have to do what you can to get noticed. “Whether it be a great shot, big hit, or fast skating you need to do something to grab the coach’s attention.” Bradford Johnson, General Manager of Stockholm, NJ’s Skyland Kings (http://www.skylandsiceworldnj.com/) concurs saying that you need to “Be outstanding at your one best thing.” If you’re not the Zach Parise or Ovechkin of your team, don’t try to do that. Do something else! Chris Nadeau, former Midget AAA Hockey Coach, former professional hockey player (http://hockeydb.com/ihdb/stats/pdisplay.php?pid=24663) and now web entrepreneur of HockeyTweets (http://hockeytweets.thehockeyzen.com/ ) and The Hockey Zen (http://hockey.thesportszen.com/) advises players to think of it this way. “Be remarkable” he says. He adds, “You know what you are good at. Be the best at it every shift and practice.”

Skyland’s Coach Johnson went on to reveal how a coach looks for different things from different players. You don’t want a roster of kids who are all the same. He goes on to explain that, “Teams are always in need of players who can fill a role. That role might be an ‘energy’ guy who blocks shots, hustles constantly, and throws a big hit to get his team going. Or maybe you need a third / fourth line ‘defensive forward’ who always shows defensive responsibility so the coach can confidently put him on the ice late in close games when his team is ahead. Another key role can be a ‘shut down d-man’ who may not score much but can keep the best player on the other team from scoring.”

The Avalanche’s Coach Long also thinks it’s important to stay on the ice between the end of the season and tryouts. According to Long, “A good coach can always spot a kid that has taken some time off from skating.” I certainly hope this is true, because it will make me feel better about all those hockey lessons and clinics I paid for!

Renowned power skating coach and ex-youth hockey coach Doug Brown (http://www.dougbrowspowerskating.com/) offers another strategy for standing out once you realize you are in the middle of the pack talent wise. He explains that “If you don't have the skill and speed of the top 5% of the kids at tryouts, you better come with a ‘no one is going to out work ME!’ approach. To get noticed pick out one of those kids in that top 5% and give them a real fight for a loose puck.” A hard working kid is sure to catch a coach’s eye! Coach Brown also added an important caveat about what not to do! He wisely points out that players shouldn’t “try to do things they normally don’t do. If you are a great passer make some great passes. If you have moves make some moves.” But, he cautions, “tryouts are not the place to try new things. Make sure you play to your strengths!”

While everyone is working hard to showcase their best hockey skills, Coach Matt Hazuda from the NJ Wild (http://www.njwild.com/) reminds us that there is more to being a great hockey player than your physical abilities. He points out that “a good work ethic is something that coaches look for in players. Players need to show the willingness and determination to out work all other players on the ice. This is the one thing that can not be taught.” Perhaps, most importantly, he cautions that a bad attitude can make a coach pass over a skilled player. So be on your best behavior!

Chris Nadeau, also emphasized the importance of demonstrating the right attitude. He always recalls an interview given by Milan Lucic in which he said the biggest thing he tried to focus on was making sure he showed up on the score sheet every game. Nadeau also tells me, that coaches are looking for great listeners. He suggests that, “If the coach asks you to do something in a drill or game, really go out and try and do it the way he requested. Coaches love players that are coachable.”

I know many parents worry that tryouts aren’t exactly fair. And maybe they aren’t. But giving in to all the whispers that everything is political or that the teams are already picked is a self-defeating strategy. Coach Nadeau concurs saying not only is it important for a player to stay positive, but be sure that you “Don't let any coach, player, friend or family member sway you from your dreams.”

Tryouts are stressful, and you have to go out and try your hardest, but you won’t be perfect the entire time. Nadeau has one final piece of advice. It’s something he learned late in his career and now realizes is the absolute key to being successful. “Stay in the moment” according to Nadeau. “Whether you make a great play or a mistake, don't carry it with you. It is over and you are onto the next shift or drill.”

So that’s what I learned about what coaches are looking for at tryouts. Thanks Coaches for sharing your words of wisdom! And good luck at tryouts everyone!

If you have any added advice or comments please leave it as a comment!

Strength Training is Safe (if done correctly) for Young Hockey Players

Across New Jersey, tryouts for Tier 1 Mite-Bantam hockey start on May 4, with Tier 2 starting the following Monday on May 11th. That’s only a few short weeks away! Here’s a tip for your hockey player. One of the best ways to increase strength, speed, and endurance is to strength train. Unfortunately too many well-meaning coaches and parents don’t allow kids to lift weights because we’ve all been told that it’s bad for growth plates. Here is some news for you – this is a big myth! It’s simply not true. Don’t believe me? Just check out what the Mayo Clinic has to say here: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/strength-training/hq01010

If the Mayo Clinic says it’s OK for kids to strength train, that’s good enough for me. So now here’s the even better part. Strength training is relatively simple, inexpensive and delivers big results quickly. To learn more about the best way to strength train with kids check out Fred Hahn’s great advice on his web site http://www.seriousstrength.com/. (The bottom of his home page features a great video of his daughter Georgia doing his workout!) Fred has been known to work with some hockey players himself! And if you're here in Northern New Jersey you can check out the good work of Tim Lynch and his crew at Maxability Sports & Fitness in the Ice House in Hackensack. (http://www.icehousenj.com/healthclub_hockey.aspx)

Meditation on a Losing Season

Oh it’s the end of a very long, very losing season (they were about 2-40-2), and we are now entering that stressful time before tryouts when hockey parents everywhere enter a period of reflection. You know the questions we contemplate: Is my kid on the right team? Should he try out for Defense or Offense? Is he working hard enough? Is travel hockey all it's cracked up to be? Why is there so little money in my checking account?

Travel hockey requires a family-wide commitment that goes beyond the financial. Supporting your hockey player costs every family member time, energy and sleep! So when I think about these questions, particularly after a losing season, how can I convince myself that these sacrifices are worthwhile? I decided to take a cue from the self-help industry and consider all of the good things that came from this season – even though they lost and lost and lost and lost… it was really bad. Really, really bad. So here it goes – my Hockey Gratitude Journal entry

I am grateful that:

• My son worked hard at his hockey skills and he improved.
• He learned how to play forward again, even though he prefers defense.
• He made a lot of great friends.
• The parents and coaches were very nice, everyone was nice. I feel like I made friends too.
• There was almost no locker room nonsense the entire season. That was blissful.
• There is a gym in the Ice House so I get to work out regularly during practices. This allows me to eat and drink more, so that is good. (I can now do 24 push-ups too! Isn’t that awesome?)
• My son learned how to read a map. I still haven’t gotten a GPS and when we are looking for rinks in faraway places, my 12 year-old is a great navigator.
• During this school year, my son has stopped kids in his school from picking on other kids quite a few times. He is not the biggest kid in the 7th grade and he's almost the youngest. But I think his losing season has given him a certain empathy for the misfits, and I’m proud that my hockey player recognizes what’s right and has the courage to risk some of his social capital defending them.
• The night before the last game of the season, he decided he needed to get to bed early. As he hit the stairs, he looked at me and said “You know Mom I have to go to bed so I can get up in the morning and do something I love.” I don’t know a lot of people, young or old, who could have that kind of attitude in the wake of a 2-40-2 record, but I am very sure that my son really loves hockey and he plays for the joy of the game. He really believes any day is a good day for hockey, win or lose. How’s that for a kid?

What would you add to this list? What are you thankful to hockey for?

Parents Behaving Badly?

Last season, a fellow hockey parent Greg B, sent me one of those e-mails that gets passed around the Internet. This one was about hockey, so I read it. (Greg if you still have it send it to me again and I'll post it.) The letter was written by a hockey parent and he wanted to make the point that people have hockey parents all wrong. We're not crazy and violent. And playing hockey teaches our kids wonderful things like team work, taking responsibility, following the rules, listening to a coach, how to win and lose gracefully and a lot more. He even pointed out how hockey parents and kids actually talk to each other on those long, early morning car trips from rink to rink. (That's really true too. We do talk, and it's not all about hockey - it's a lot about hockey - but not all.) Like the parent who wrote the letter, I have found myself on more than one occasion defending hockey.

And while I do love the sport, I have wondered at times if there isn't a little something wrong here. What is it that brings out the bad parent behavior anyway? The screaming, the tantrums about playing time, the walking out in the middle of tryouts (If my Johnny isn't going to be AA, he's not playing here!). I try to tell myself, parents can be crazy in every sport - it's not just hockey. But just this season we had a few "incidents" of parents behaving badly that - well- made me wonder.

In one hard-hitting, intense Bantam game, the losing coach went with his team to the middle of the ice where the kids were lining up to shake hands. Now that is one of the best things about hockey, right? But this coach missed the point and he actually knocked players from the other team down to the ice. Really. (And no it wasn't by accident, these were bantams. You have to try to knock them down).

More unbelievably in another bantam game, after a very hard but legal (no penalty) hit, the parent of the kid who had been hit was so upset that, after the game, he waited for the player who had checked his son. When the player left the ice, the parent threw a cup of hot coffee at him. (Yes the parent was banned for the season, but this is really unbelievable isn't it?) How do you get to a place where you think throwing a cup of coffee at a child is the right thing to do?

But of everything that I saw and heard about this year, I was most bothered by one of my 8 year old's Mite games. It was one those one-sided games, where the coach has to tell the kids to stop scoring and pass the puck around. Though they were completely outmatched, there were three Dads from the other team standing up on the boards, around the bench, yelling down at their kids. These kids were so little 7 and 8, maybe even 6. And these Dads kept screaming. One Dad had even dragged a chair over from snack bar, so he didn't have to struggle to hang on to the boards. Happily, one their kids did manage to get the puck, take it down the ice and score. It was great for them to avoid the shut out. So the Dad, the one on the chair, you think he'd be happy. But then he yelled down at the kids "Cheer, cheer for your team! What's the matter with you?"

These kids can't even score without getting yelled at! Unbelievable. And how sad for those kids. They get to play the greatest sport on earth, but the sound track is being heckled constantly by Daddy Dearest.

So what do you think? Are we hockey parents the same or worse than parents for other sports? (Aren't most of us also soccer parents, baseball parents and basketball parents anyway?) What has to happen to fix this problem? I think firm codes of conduct and strict enforcement would go a long way. But then things have to be enforced by the businesses that want our money. Hmmm. Oh and if you go up on the boards, even once, you should immediately be shown the parking lot. What do you think?

Update - Greg B. sent me the letter. It is posted here http://bit.ly/NDwPX

Must Read for all hockey fans, especially Devils fans

Book Review by IanB
Title: Chico Resch's Tales from the Devils Ice
Author: Chico Resch with Mike Kerwick

Chico Resch, Devils announcer and former goalie has been with the Devils from the start. In this interesting book he shares stories of the ups and downs of the team. The stories begin at the birth of the organization when they were the Colorado Rockies and go through the 07-08 season. There are a few serious stories, funny stories (Hope you found your teeth Ken Daneyko) and some that are kind of strange . I loved this book and I couldn't stop reading it. Unfortunately, it can be hard to find, but it's still available in the Devils Den and you can get used and new copies from other sellers on Amazon. Highly recommended reading.

My Rating: 5 hockey pucks

Are you a blade whisperer?

I have asked numerous people how to check the blades on my sons' skates. Whenever I see someone who seems to know what they are doing -- blade whisperers I call them - I ask for a little tutorial and observe what they do really carefully. Really. This is what I have learned:

First you turn the boot over and stretch out your arm full length to look at the blade. (I'm not sure if this is because the parents need reading glasses or if it is actually helpful to be really far away from the blade when looking at it.) Then you squint and look at the blade very closely. Then you turn your head slightly to the side while you pass you finger down the length of the blade. While you do this you adopt an expression like you are trying to crack a safe, I think maybe because you are trying to hear the blade speak to you. ("I need to be sharpened! I need to be sharpened!") When you follow these steps you are supposed to be able to discern if the blades are sharp or not - if the guy in the pro-shop did a good job or not. Well, I've been a hockey Mom for 5 years and while I try to check those edges (because of course, this is something I am expected to do), the truth is, I'm just a pretender - a fraud. They always feel the same to me!

And while we are talking about blades, why are there so many people responsible for sharpening blades who apparantly are unable to do a good job. Everywhere you go you are told, "Ask for Dan or Bill or Bob and don't let any of the other idiots touch your kids skates." The problem is no one wears a name tag and I can never remember who I'm supposed to be asking for anyway. What are you supposed to do ask "Are you Bob?" and when the guy says no, tell him he can't do your skates because you heard he was an idiot? Maybe I'm not cut out for this.